When your temper flares, use this meditation to cope with your anger immediately. As we move forward with this exercise, keep in mind that anger is a normal, natural emotion and there is nothing wrong with feeling angry from time to time.
Managing your anger doesn’t mean you’re going to remove anger from your life. It means you’re taking steps to control how you respond to your anger. You have the power to control and manager your anger in a healthy, productive way.
Let’s work on this together.
Take a few moments to relax. This feels good, doesn’t it? Once this quick relaxation exercise is complete, you can move on with your day behaving in a way that you feel good about; in a way that is calm and measured and not ruled by emotion.
Let’s begin by observing the anger. Allow yourself to feel however you need to feel. Notice your feeling, but don’t react to it yet.
Inhale deeply. Stay there for a moment…and exhale.
Inhale… hold the tension…. exhale…. release all that tension with your breath.
Inhale…. and exhale……
Inhale…. and exhale……
Keep repeating, slowly and deeply, and allow your body to relax.
Consider how you’re feeling now. Make note of where the anger is physically stored in your body. Are you harboring anger in your shoulders? Are your fists clenched? Is your jaw tight? Maybe you have pain in your stomach or neck. Anger can manifest itself in a number of places throughout your body. This is uncomfortable, so let’s relax some of these muscles.
First, tighten your hands into fists. Hold that position, tighter and tighter, feeling the tension in your hands and arms.
Now relax. Unclench your fists and let your arms and hands be free and limp. Consider the difference in feeling tension and feeling relaxation. It’s so much more comfortable to be relaxed.
Relax your shoulders. You may want to tense up your shoulders and then relax, or you may just want to relax your shoulders without tightening them up first. The choice is yours.
Next, focus on your face and jaws. Just as you did with your shoulders, relax your face and jaws. You may want to tense them first, but you don’t have to. Just allow your face and jaws to become soft and relaxed.
Notice where you’re harboring tension. Be mindful of how your body feels, from head to toe, and relax each section of your body as you do this.
How do you feel now?
Be proud of yourself because you’re controlling your anger by choosing to relax. To further manage your anger, repeat some affirmations like these to help develop self control thoughts:
I acknowledge that I am feeling angry right now, and accept the way I feel.
I have the power to control my reactions.
I can fully experience this anger, yet wait before I take action.
I can feel angry, but calm and in control at the same time.
It’s okay to feel angry.
Consider how you feel physically, and relax any tense areas.
Consider how you feel emotionally. Notice how emotions come and go. Notice that anger comes and goes.
Engaging in the self-control exercise helps you diminish the anger so it’s no longer such an issue.
At the end of the relaxation session you may feel less, the same amount, or more anger than you did when you started the exercise.
If you’re still angry, you may need to release these emotions by expressing yourself. And you can choose how you want to do that ñ call a friend, write in your journal, go for a walk. The choice is yours. You can release anger through breathing deeply. Inhale relaxation, and exhale anger.
As you take steps to cope with your anger in a healthy way, use this breathing script to support you:
Inhale deeply…. and exhale…..
inhale….. exhale…. relax with each breath
Continue this breathing exercise to cope with anger and to relax.
Now let’s do a countdown, from 5 to 1. You’re at 5 now, but by the time we get to 1, you’ll be fully awake, and you’ll also be calm.